Tuesday, February 7, 2017

White House "Infested" With Bed Bugs - Trump Blames Obama

 A White House aide, speaking under the condition of anonymity, told the Hanner Times that the White House is "infested" with bedbugs.

"It's hard," the aide continued, "to keep the bed bugs out while letting the public in.  What's needed is a complete shutdown of the White House for treatment.  Anything less will prove to be ineffective."

Asked how he seemed to know so much about bed bugs, the aide said that he, like many others in the White House, has brought the bugs home from work.  He's learned about the different treatments available, and their costs.

Melania Trump, our First Lady, has refused to move into the White House.  We think the bed bug situation may have played a role in her decision.

Our source says that the Trump administration is blaming the situation on the Obama administration.  Josh Earnest, spokesman for the Obama administration, says that President Trump brought the bed bugs with him.  "We had the White House treated twice a month and no one ever saw any bed bugs," according to Mr. Earnest.

No matter who you believe, it's probably for the best if you don't visit the White House these days.  There's enough traffic with the change of administrations.  And ex-President Obama had numerous African dignitaries in the White House.  African bed bugs make ours look like fleas by comparison.  If the furniture starts moving, that's African bed bugs.  Dynamite might prove to be the only effective weapon against African bed bugs.

In these difficult times, it's hard enough to just get by.  Bed bugs aren't a problem that anyone deserves.   But they're here and we have to do something about them.  A napalm airstrike against the White House might be needed.  Of course, we would lose a lot of history if we did that.  But we also would be making history and showing that the Trump administration isn't afraid to make the hard decisions that are necessary in these times.  President Trump, meet your bed bugs; bed bugs, meet your doom.

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